20 THINGS I LEARNED IN MY 20’S

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 🙂

Today is a first official day when I’m not in my twenties anymore. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy to go through this for me. I’ve cried for couple of times hoping to remain 20-something but with a mind and knowledge I’ve reached by now.

If I look back where I was emotionally, physically and what my living situation looked like in my early twenties… Well it was a huge difference to where I stand now. I think today is a great day when we look at what I learned before reaching the magical age of 30.

 

1.NO ONE IS PERFECT

I always looked up to girls and women with a perfect skin, hair, body, fashion style, their positive mind, so many friends around, perfect grades and family, etc. But do you know what? Nobody is perfect! To look that good means a really hard job on yourself and stop overeating chocolate! Only because somebody is always smiling and positive doesn’t mean we see inside of their soul and we know them well. You never know what’s happening inside of all of those people and what’s actually happening behind the close door.

2.STOP WASTING TIME ON PEOPLE WHO JUDGE YOU

I’m one of those people who never got everything served on a silver plate, as Czechs say. I worked really  hard to achieve everything and get to the point where I am now. And I still need to work hard, not even harder to achieve things I really want and get to point where I really want to be. Believe it or not, the trick behind all of it is,  all those negative people who kept judging me and telling me I can’t do anything what I really want. And look at where they are now, and where I am. Stop listen to their voices! All what they mean is that they are scared you’ll be better than them and you’ll have much better life than they do. Whatever it means to them or to you. They never meant anything nice by being judgemental to you, just to make you feel worst and cause you harm. What could you do to be a winner in this case is to keep saying to yourself: ”Do you really think I can’t make it? I’m not good enough? Then watch and learn b*tch!” If it helped me, it’s going to help you for sure. 🙂

3.FORGIVE & FORGET

My grandmum used to tell me that an adult is recognisable once they can Forgive and Forget to those who hurted him/her. To learn those 2F’s was one of the hardest lesson for me. I’m not going to lie, when it comes to F & F to others, I’m not still there yet. When it comes to me, I succeeded. I guess it comes with self-love as well. If you can forgive to yourself, then you are on a great way how to love and respect yourself even more than before.

4. ADMITTING OWN MISTAKES AND APOLOSING FOR THEM IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH, NOT WEAKNESS

This lesson has something to do with the one I mentioned above. I guess the hardest thing is to stand up in front of mirror, look at yourself and to tell yourself what wrong you have done. It’s always easier to blame other people for your failure than to admit that you’re the one to blame.

5.PLANS DON’T ALWAYS WORK OUT IN A WAY WE WOULD LIKE THEM TO

Before I reached age of 10, I thought by age of 30 I’ll have a Master degree, an experience of living abroad as an au-pair, a husband who’s also my best friend and 2 little kids. Before I reached age of 20, I thought I will definitely be in a serious relationship. Before reaching age of 30, when I think where am I going to be by age of 40? I guess it’s the first time when I don’t think that far. Not because I don’t want to or I am scared I won’t achieve it. I just think.. you can’t plan everything in your life and the beauty of life is the simplicity and unpredictability. My advice to you is, don’t make really big plans which are more like long-term because if you won’t reach them, you might simply burn out and it’s not worth it. Live your life and enjoy it, take it how it comes and take each step as a big one, because even the little one counts as a huge one 🙂

6.TRUST YOUR HEART AND GUT FEELING

Do you remember when you had an exam at the school and deeply down inside of you, you knew it went wrong, although you still hoped it might turn up well. Similar story with a job interview. Or when you felt something doesn’t feel right when you saw your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend.. and in a matter of time those feelings came out like you were right all the time? Well that’s what I call a gut feeling a.k.a instinct. No matter what other people might tell you, if you feel that something is not right, trust yourself first.

7.COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS IS THE FASTEST WAY TOWARDS TO ANXIETY AND UNHAPPINESS WITH OURSELVES 

How many times did you compare yourself to your friend, ex-girlfriend of your boyfriend, a new girlfriend of your ex-boyfriend.. I think we could find so many possibilities you could compare to. Was it worth it? Nope. It made you feel even worst and with thoughts like ”What she’s got that I’m missing?”. If you find yourself in this situation, you should keep on your mind that you are beautiful and perfect in the way you are. Who knows how many people wish they would be exactly like you.

8.LIFE IS THE BEST SCHOOL

How many equation do you use in your life? I mean those really difficult which they taught you at maths lessons. If you are not scientist, chemist or somebody who works in this industry.. I guess not many.. I think lessons which should be taught in the school are not.. like how to deal with money, what type of loans is worth to take and what type of loans might get you into lots of troubles. They never taught us what to do if people don’t treat us with rights and respect. It’s something what life teach us, not the school.

9.I LOVE MY BODY WITH ALL IMPERFECTIONS 

I love my big bum, curves, boobies, even my cellulite. Do you know how many people pay ridiculous money to have as big boobies and bum as I do?

10.NOT EVERYONE WANTS US TO HELP THEM

I’m not sure if it’s a Piscean thing but I had a stage of my life when I wanted to be a Mother Teresa & Princess Diana in one person in addition to save the world! Ok, that was one of my childish dream when I used to be a child. When I grew up, I used to have so-called boyfriends who I thought I might save, help them out of their troubles which ended up me being in an even bigger trouble with myself. Did they actually want me to help them? Not at all. Was it worth it? Yes, because it taught me that the only person who’s worth my help is simply me.

11.DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY 

Ooops, that one is the hardest one. Especially for me. I’m a very sensitive person who always thinks that if the person is not in a right mood, it’s because of me. And the truth is, it’s not like that at all. If you are in an argument with somebody else, it doesn’t always have to be because of you. You never know what’s happening in their life, inside of their mind, and so on…

12.TO BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF

I always thought that I need a best friend to make me happy, a boyfriend to save me from a crap life situation, a teacher who can teach me another language, somebody who would sort out our family situation, and so on… But the truth is that I found my own happiness within myself and on my own. Currently I’m going through one of the happiest moments of my life where I feel I do have a really good close friends of mine who I have known for a decade, living abroad and still being so close with them. Also, I don’t need a boyfriend to be really happy with myself and my life. I don’t need anyone to teach me another language because in 21st Century we have got Internet which makes studying much easier than 30 years ago. And why should I be searching for somebody to help sorting out a messy situation if it’s not worth it at all?

When I was in my early twenties, to have only friends who you could count on one hand was something unthinkable. To not have a serious long-term relationship was something like a failure. If I did not go to party or just out with them, it was something like.. missing on life.. Now my best evenings are with glass of wine beer, reading a book or watching a show on Netflix, calling my friend who doesn’t live in the same country as me and having a pamper night where I can simply relax and enjoy myself.

13.BEING WEIRD IS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT ME

I was raised by my grandparents which means that my opinions are old-fashioned for today’s generation. I was told by somebody that it’s wrong and I’m weird. I should not be like that and change the way of my thinking. It took me on a journey of self-doubt and if everything what I was taught was right and correct. It took me a good couple of months to realize that what somebody might see as a weird part of me is actually something what makes me special and different from others in a good way. In the end I cut this person out of my life because the weirdest thing would be to keep a person in your life who keeps undermining your self-esteem.

14.YOU CAN’T FORCE FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP

If somebody doesn’t call/text/e-mail you, doesn’t apologise for being wrong or harsh on you, doesn’t support you in a toughest time of your life, doesn’t initiate a plan to see you, doesn’t re-arrange failed meet up, … then it’s better let them go. Who doesn’t want to be a part of your life, is not worth of trying to keep them in it.

15.LOVE HURTS

A lot …

16.NOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE REAL ONES

In my early twenties I used to have so many friends. More than you could count on both of your hands. By the time when life gave me a big lesson to learn, I found out who my real friends are. In the end I had less than you can count on only one of your hand. Remember that quantity doesn’t equal quality. When it comes to friendship, cheap clothes, sex, etc. Less is sometimes more than a lot.

17.FINANCIALLY YOU STRUGGLE 

Being at Uni, not living on your own, hard to find a part-time job – at least where I grew up, wanting to get so many things but not having money for it, lots of parties, coffee times, lunches in between lectures.. yeah, it was a tough time. How many times I could not wait to live an adult life without being depend on family. Now I miss the freedom which was associated with my time at Uni. I guess, you can’t have it all.

18.YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND RELIABLE

You’ll learn that at Uni, with your first job. Your twenties is the time when you are going from a child who’s got a freedom, was caring only about parties and nothing else to somebody who’s starting to learn how to pay all their bills while trying to enjoy their life.

19.SEX IS GREAT.. NOPE.. IT’S AWESOME

Before sex was fine, not that bad but now.. that’s a different story 🙂

20.WORK HARD TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

At the moment, I might be working really long hours but when it comes to working really hard on blog, that’s where I fail which is something what does not make me happy. I’m not going to lie, because working on my blog is something what I really miss. But in my twenties I learned how to be hard working at Uni, then leaving my country taught me how to be tougher and harder worker. And my new job is going to teach me something new as well. If you really want to achieve something you must work really hard. Nothing comes easy and for free. At least not for me.

If you read this article and you are in your twenties, feeling confused, not knowing what you want, keep changing your mind every month or feeling like there’s no way out of this difficult situation whatever it means for you. Then don’t worry. One day everything will be over and all of it will make sense. As you can see, you are not the only one who feels or felt like that. I believe that everything I went through has happened for a reason to become a person who I am now. I still have lots of things to work on. Lots of dreams, self improvements, even career which I never thought I’d be one of those careerist.

This journey was one of the hardest. For the first time I went through all those difficulties on my own, yet I had the support I needed. But it wasn’t as same as before. Luckily for me, I’ve made it. Even when I had so many people in my life who would love to see me to fail. I’m going through one of the happiest time in my life. Not because of somebody else, but because of me. Finally I’m not one of those desperate women who seeks happiness in somebody else. Finally I am one of those woman who found happiness in herself! <3

What have you learned in your twenties? Something different to what I’ve mention?  If you are in your twenties, what to do you struggle with?

  Marketa x
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